At the library a few days back I met a friend again whom I didn’t meet for a few years already. I was abroad for two years and we had E-mail contact. Coming back we wanted to meet and exchanged new numbers. But it seemed pretty clear that we were busy with other things and meeting wasn’t of priority. She was also abroad in between, and we pretty much had an unspoken agreement to not bother anymore. I didn’t know her long before, and the only thing that was holding us together was the mutual experience of losing a loved one. We held on to each other in a time when we thought nobody else could understand. And now it seems this was the only thing that connected us. If that didn’t happen, we wouldn’t even have cared for each other. As I was meeting her again, it felt pretty strange, unrealistic and even unworldly. I already didn’t expect to meet her ever again. It was a mutual feeling. The awkwardness was topped by meeting at the toilet. It isn’t that we wanted to avoid each other…it is just, we don’t seem to be compatible anymore. It feels like we both moved on, overcame (for the most part) the heartbreak this way or the other, even without the help of each other. Now we don’t know what to do with each other anymore. I gave her my number, and she promised to call and set up a meeting “sometime”. I just hope she doesn’t feel pressured to really meet up when it is not our time anymore. It seems to be true that some relationships aren’t meant to last. At the time we gave each other comfort and we didn’t feel alone in the world. Now, as we seem to have nothing in common anymore, the reality sets in, and that is just two girls having nothing to talk about anymore. What a strange thing.
An old friend