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Eurovision and procrastination come in handy

It’s May and that means Eurovision time! Yay! And what better excuse to procrastinate than watching Eurovision? Last week I took a tiny little holiday from my thesis, which I now regret of course, but it was good! Watching Eurovision is a must! It’s trashtastic, it’s shout-singing, it’s eurotrash, it’s so bad that it only can be good. It has everything: flashy costumes, wind machines, political messages that no one understands and a little scandal. This year the scandal was Lukashenko suspecting some conspiracy behind the fact that his country’s song, fittingly called “I love Belarus”, didn’t make it to the finals. And every year someone, especially contestants that were there from the beginning, suspects “political voting”. Since nowadays there are already 43 countries participating, it gets more interesting every year. I particularly like seeing how other nations want to represent themselves. And it also gives me some kind of “united fuzzy” feeling. Although the countries of Europe don’t feel particularly united normally, it’s actually a good feeling to be nice to each other once a year. Even if it’s only for a trashy singing competition. I always think that everybody in Europe is watching it. But I was proven wrong when I went to Malta a few years ago and wanted to impress my host’s boy by my ultimate Eurovision knowledge and telling him how much I enjoyed the Maltese act that year. He wasn’t impressed. I think that only now it’s becoming less embarrassing to admit to watching it 🙂 This year Azerbaijan made it, only in the 4th year of participation! It should be very interesting next year. Watching Eurovision in Azerbaijan can be dangerous actually. In 2009 43 or 44 (sources differ) people were put on a list as “potential threats to the country” and one was even interrogated by police after voting for Armenia. That prompted the Eurovision committee to change the rules. Serious stuff!

That's Nadine Beiler for Austria via

In Austria everybody is always rooting for its song despite being regularly bad if not awful. And when we don’t make it, it’s always the fault of others. Austria won the contest only once in 1966 and the guy is our national hero now. This time reporters and TV execs are pissed again because we only made it to place 18 out of 25 but it’s the first time in six years that we even made it to the finals. I hope those TV execs aren’t acting like a baby again and are offended only because Europe couldn’t see the “brilliantness” of Austria’s song and punish us viewers again by not participating, as has happened the last three years. As I was not that desperate to actually write a protest letter to the national TV station, I am not one to talk. But it was rough those three years without Austria anyway.

I actually rooted for Ireland. They were fun. And all in all Eurovision was a great distraction from my thesis. A little flashy distraction 😉

On another note, procrastination is now really kicking in. I always heard that when you’re procrastinating, your apartment is spotless because you spend your time doing the dishes instead of working. That has finally happened to me. While in the last months I didn’t change my cleaning routine because of my thesis, I wash the dishes now twice a day. I even dusted yesterday. Hell, I even tidied my work desk which was already drowning in books, old tea cups and texts. I know, gross. But now it’s all shiny. You can eat from my desk and it’s actually pretty nice. That’s why I wondered why I’m not doing this more. I think it is because it actually takes up a lot of time. I was happy to shed some time that I otherwise would have spent on my thesis, getting a headache. The fantastic mechanisms of one’s brain…I will never understand!



image via

So, now it is already April and my deadline was set for April 26. Like my subconsciousness sees it, deadlines are there to be broken. Especially the ones I set for myself. Why is it that I cannot stick to my own deadlines? If some authority, like a teacher 😉 , gives deadlines, I follow those religiously. But the minute I do it for myself, my expectations go out the window. Together with my self-confidence. Sometimes I feel like I am some drama heroine. Some bad drama heroine who you want to punch in the face whenever she comes on the screen because of the stupid decisions she makes. My decisions are really not the best but can I punch myself and therefor punish myself? Oh my…. OK, so my thesis is now approaching 40 pages, which is good actually, but I am afraid I cannot write another forty until April 26. Which is quite a failure. And considering that I still don’t know what I am doing 40 pages is maybe quite good?! I cannot decide. Since my mom has already given up on asking how my work is going on, that should give me a breather. But the deep fear of failure is always weighing on my head. Oh how I wish for the day when I can throw my fear of failure out the window…

I really need that!!!

Hooked on Mahjongg… precious game you! image via

Last week a friend of mine dragged me along to play mahjongg (or mah-jongg or majong, whichever way to write it I don’t know) with a group of people. Although I spent two years in China, I have to admit I never learned how to play it there. The young guys I spent my time with were into computer games like World of Warcraft or Counter Strike and made a bonding experience out of that in smoky internet café’s, where hundreds of Chinese played with each other, or so it appeared. I for one let my boyfriend play with the Chinese boys and watched my Korean Dramas…which was great. One could spend hours and hours doing only that one thing… Which we admittedly did….there are even stories of young boys going blind because they didn’t leave their screen for two days straight. Yes…that’s how self-sacrificing they are 😉 Anyway…the thing is only “older” people played mahjongg there, and they gambled. This again is very dangerous, so parents spend a lot of time instilling the warning into young people not ever to gamble. This is why they end up in Internet café’s. This could also be expensive, but at least nobody comes into family homes at night to repossess anything.

I for one am now hooked on this game. I had a really good run and won 5 times over the course of the evening, which a guy brushed off as “beginner’s luck”. I think he was only afraid of me! At home I wasted no time to install mahjongg on my computer and since then I cannot get away from it. Writing one page I take a break with one tiny little round of mahjongg…which then amounts to one hour breaks because time flies by. I am hopelessly addicted now. Even before starting to write anything I am thinking about taking it slow with a nice round of mahjongg first. It is extremely rewarding…I love it! I am even thinking of buying the board game for myself. Maybe that’s why some Chinese parents don’t even teach their kids how to play it…it takes up so much precious time which could be spent studying. But they didn’t think of counter strike 😉

Anyhow, I try to even out the time I write and the time I play…and I think it will go away soon enough, until my next addiction kicks in…hopefully a not so-much-time-consuming one…

Procrastinating in style

image via

There are days when I wake up, head aching, my mind already running through the workload of the day, terrified of the things lying ahead of me and terrified of the things I didn’t do the day before. Because the day before I couldn’t care less and didn’t manage anything other than extending my knowledge of the newest BBC adaptations of Victorian dramas. Funny, the comments always say what I think: “I should do homework now, but am too pulled in by this delicious drama hero, who surely will give me wet dreams tonight.” Maybe the wet dream part is exaggerating it, but there are also enough comments about wanting to eat up the lead actor, imagining him kissing you and running one’s hands through his particularly flashy hair. It’s funny that there is an insatiable appetite for gentleman-like drama heroes. And then there are the comments: “Why aren’t there any Mr. Darcy’s in this day and age?”, “Please marry me Mr. Darcy.” and on and on it goes. I imagine that those viewers are a load of thesis-procrastinating girls who just want to escape the rough reality of having to finish ones’ thesis over the course of a few months. Wouldn’t it be nice to get hold of a Mr. Darcy, who would take care of you, and you only have to play the piano, attend balls and recite Shakespeare ever again? Guilty as charged, even I have those thoughts. But only for the flicker of a moment. Because then I treasure my freedom, which I surely wouldn’t have enjoyed in 1830, too much…going out alone, kissing my boyfriend on the street (how unladylike!), having revolutionary thoughts (like women working and being successful, oh my god!) and being all for gender equality and the abolition of barriers in society.  But I am appalled that in this day and age, there are still girls out there only thinking about marrying the right man, which is demonstrated by lengthy posts about how to score a wealthy man. Every fiber of my emancipated self is crunching at the thought of those girls. We really should finish up our thesis’s and not depend on men! I know I now am only bitching…again procrastinating. I for one really only watch those Dramas for pleasure and to get rid of the gnawing thoughts of self-destruction. Which isn’t very healthy too…maybe I am an even more pathetic version of girls lusting after a Drama hero and I am the one to be bitched about…They should make a Drama about procrastinating heroes and explore the trials and tribulations of writing a thesis without getting lost on the way 😉 So now, I will again focus on the third page of my pathetic little thesis…and maybe I can watch a little Drama afterwards, as a reward…and then cuddle my own Mr. Darcy 🙂

Fresh Start!

Since I “procrastinated” my way through three months of summer vacation, it seems to be time to start afresh and with a little bit of pressure… It is very frightening to think about the time after graduation and the terrifying thought of being thrown into the “working world” which I still cannot grasp. But it is very childish to hold on to the thought of studying forever only because I am afraid of never finding a job… I will never know if I do not graduate… I need to finish my master thesis in April of 2011, not only for my sanity but also for the sanity and monetary health of my mother… My wish was to graduate at 25… It would be my personal failure to turn 26 without finishing anything substantial in my life. April gives me a buffer of one month, and I really hope must pull it off! Starting tomorrow I will begin to research, read, write and think “academically”, and this time for real! So let the journey begin!